I just masturbated to porn a little bit ago. Surprisingly softcore, a little sweet, sensual even. I’m unsure what to think of it. I feel like if it is going to be porn I should just hit it full on with the hardcore BDSM and crazy Japanese cow gut porn. Perhaps it is related to my maturing tastes in women. I don’t just appreciate substance in a woman now, I require it. What the fuck is that about? I’m sorry, but I have been let down by bad sex a few too many times now to even consider wasting an hour of my life listening to you talk about fucking nothing for an hour. Anyway, back to the porn. It’s all well and nice dating the sweet girl in Calculus class, but if I’m sitting alone in my room and could have a crazy cow gut threesome with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Scarlett Johansson it is a no contest. Do you know what I mean?
So, I can’t help but wonder if I’m similarly evolving in my porn interests now. By which I mean, I have exhausted all of the Japanese cow gut porn sites, all of the E.T. porn, all of the sexy Smurf porn (and I mean the ones with real Smurfs not the imitation ones), and now that I have seen what there is to see out there and masturbated profusely to said sights I have come to a place where I like to just find a nice cute looking woman teasing me with some photos of low-cut jeans and then ending with a nice boob shot.
How does this relate to my relationships? It may not. But I will say this, I’ll break up with, that is to say, it is a deal breaker for me if a woman is a bad kisser. Learn to kiss, seriously. That multiple quick pecking shit makes me feel like I’m being attacked by a parrot. Tongue is nice, too much tongue, not so nice. Slow the fuck down it is NOT sensual when you’re going all over the place. You’re like a starving ant eater scouring the back of my throat. I know you’re excited, I’m excited too, but you’re killing the moment. Learn how to kiss. You girls have no excuse either. It is completely socially acceptable for you to make out with your friends and get some feedback about what feels good and what doesn’t. Us boys… not so much.
Bad kissing… not ok. Japanese cow gut porn… not so much my thing anymore. This is a strange new world. High school is over and I’ve spent enough time slutting myself out to say with relative certainty that tits, ass, and a cute smile aren’t cutting it anymore. I got a choke hold on you. Good looking girls are aplenty and good looking guys few and mostly taken.